The first German friend of Zhang Danhong is the opposite of what you had imagined, under an ideal Partner. Nevertheless, they had great respect for him increased after the separation.
I met Christian (the Name was familiar to me changed) in case of a joint Chinese friend. As the Chinese realized that between Christian and me offing, he immediately out of the country, care is a serious warning: “You’re not his type. I know all of his Ex-Girlfriends. They are tall, slim, tanned, casual and insensitive as he is.” Except for the “slim” is true indeed none of these attributes to me. You fall in love but for the first time, runs every objection into an incentive.
He was not my type at all? Until then, I had significant experiences with men. In terms of sexuality and partnership, the Chinese are late bloomers. Since I was as avant-garde. My ideal type I imagined as a profound, sensitive and responsible man. With “responsibility” I mean not only a sense of duty to the family, the smallest cell of society, but also for the large cell. So he should be ready to make a positive contribution to society. “Everyone has a responsibility for the Well-being of the country” (天下兴亡，匹夫有责) – the way we were brought up. The appearance of my ideal partner was for me, however, of secondary importance.
However, in the case of Christian it was, of all things, his appearance, felt I moved into the area: the chestnut-colored hair, dark brown eyes, washboard abs and a gym-hardened body. A sense of responsibility for society was not able to be with him, however, in the most distant sense of the speech. On the contrary, With his 29 years, he was still determined to be from the social state-subsidized student life for all of eternity to continue. Not a single Time I’ve seen that he is plagued with a business administration book around. Through the long day he spent either in front of the PC or in the gym. If the sun was shining and the temperatures allowed it, he followed meadows, the migration of the peoples of the bed.
The time of pure happiness was only of short duration
Sun reluctantly
Soon, I was urged to do so. Charming as he was referred to Christian, my skin as cheesy. I was not amused. Not only because he knew exactly what aversion I (had at the time), compared to cheese, but because he saw in my light skin more of a disadvantage. What I have garnered in China for compliments just because of that! There, the noble pallor is considered almost as the mother of all beauty criteria. “Fair skin conceals a hundred imperfections” (一白遮百丑), is a common saying in my home. Other countries, other customs, I said to myself and put me with heroism in the bright sun.
With a blade of Grass Christian circles painted on my face. “Hey, my little girl, you know, when I fell in love with you?” He expected no answer from me and continued: “As you the first Time slept and the container for your contact lenses did.” “I can remember. Then you gave me two egg cups,” I said. “You did the lenses in the Cup and on the a the letters ‘L’, nothing is written to the other at all,” he said. “Did you fall because of the written or the unwritten letter in me?” I asked, in order of seriousness. “This is exactly the point. Others would write a ‘L’ and ‘R’. Smart as you are, you have a letter saved. I fell in love with your intelligence.” Soso. I was in a Bikini in front of his nose, and he raved about my intelligence. Should I take that as a compliment or an insult?
When we moved in together, I took you, how much potential he had in him: He painted the walls, laid the floor and screwed the Ikea furniture in no time – a Chinese Intellectual would have needed for days. We were not meant to be together, we found both of them very soon. Christian took it lightly, and met again in semi-open, semi-secretly, with the last of his Ex-Girlfriends. I felt the togetherness lonely than ever.
Robin Hood of the Modern
Our separation and delivery to a natural way. Christian went to the East of the reunified Germany, and earned his computer know-a Golden nose. I got a job at Deutsche Welle and moved to the vicinity of the radio house. In parting, we fell to us in the army, and howled for a while. “I’ve really loved,” said Christian. “It’s okay. I was not really into you, but rather in the feeling of being in love, to have in a foreign country is a kind of family.” I didn’t want to admit how much I had suffered in our relationship.
Christian looked almost as good as Kevin Costner. He fought as hard as Robin Hood against the tax authorities
I later learned from our mutual friend that he founded as a young Student, a company and a very unpleasant experience with the IRS had collected. Since then, he earned only so much that he had to pay no taxes – except for the months in Eastern Germany. With the money he earned, he bought one of his Ex-Girlfriends in North Africa a herd of goats, and secured the existence of their family. Kind of like the Robin Hood of modern society I had so experience it first-hand.
Zhang Danhong was born in Beijing and lives since 30 years in Germany. In the series “English is not a bed of roses” she writes once a week about your first contacts with the German language and their Integration in Germany.