The day that one never forgets

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Marek Lisinski is one of thousands of abuse victims of paedophile priests. He has long been living with his Trauma. For years he tried in vain to find a hearing in the case of Polish bishops. Until now.

That day Marek will forget Lisinski never. It was the 13th. In December 1981, a Sunday and the last night he spent at his offender.

The then 13-year-old decided to entrust in the Morning of this day his mother and grandparents on a little secret. The local pastor “to do him evil things”, opened the Boy and his family. The Boy had chosen the wrong day for his important message. Just on the day of the Communist General Wojciech Jaruzelski imposed state of war over Poland. In television, the speech of the General was continuously listen to. The word “war” roused the family, the worst memories of the time of the German occupation of Poland. In the excitement, the bumbling testimony of the young is easy. “Today, I understand,” says Marek Lisinski, “but for years I didn’t want to forgive you.”

He stays with his Trauma alone. With 14 he starts to drink, is an alcoholic. On the regular abuse by the local pastor, he loses a full 30 years not a word. Only 43 he breaks his Silence, begins a therapy that continues to this day. Therapy or no, The memories won’t let go of him.

With his 51 years, he was still having nightmares in which he experiences the scenes of abuse again. It’s come to this strange moment in the middle of broad daylight, he admits. He sometimes feel the urge to hug himself. “That is to say: I have the 13-year-old in me will embrace, then no help. The Problem here is that I can’t love him,” said Lisinski and his face turned to stone.

In spite of abuse: Marek Lisinski his life has to somehow get to the range

The penalty for the offender: three years suspension from the priesthood. Today, he works as a Clergyman. The civil process is still running.

“Spiritual Abuse”

Lisinski, a tall man with gray hair and a traumatized look, sitting in a Roman Cafe and drinking his coke Zero. Are 15 years of age, he was dry, he says. He got his life somehow in the series. In 2013, he has decided to start an organization, the victims of abuse are supported.

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One of the victims of abuse Mariusz Milewski. “He was a hard case,” says Lisinski and wrinkles in the forehead. “Completely isolated, that his tormentor was particularly perfidious.” The spiritual is even supposed to have the confession for his own ends. “He was the Confessor of the whole family, knew to take advantage of exactly their weaknesses.” So the pastor knew that the then-9-year-old altar boy growing up in a problem family. At home, not even a bathroom.

“He invited me to his apartment. He asked if I would like to bathe. I said Yes, at home we had not even running water. It was me queasy, as he began to wash himself. And then he forced me for the first Time for Oral Sex” recalls the 28-year-old man with a sad look. For nine years the pastor have need of him, miss. If he didn’t feel the need to tell someone? – Milewski, the friendly and eloquent guy, shrugs his arms. “Who would Believe a kid from an alcoholic family?”

This is “quite typical,” says Marek Lisinski. The pedophile priest, consciously seeks such a victim. He also put pressure on: “If you’re talking about, will die Your mother” or “you are not coming in the sky”. “Spiritual abuse”, called the theologian Doris Wagner, also an abuse victim, in her book under the same title.

For the victims of the Silence of the Church is just as traumatizing as the crime is up to you

As his assistant Lisinski, is also looking for Mariusz of nightmares. One that returns often, is the, in which the priest him yelling at: “Why have You done to me?”. Massive guilt and feelings of inferiority belong to the typical consequences of abuse, psychologists have found.

“The Film was under-shoots”

Both Lisinski, as well as Milewski consistently report nightmares of a different kind. So was a nightmare for the “canonical process” against the priest, which you have displayed in the case of the ecclesiastical authorities. “In the famous movie ‘the clergy’there is a harrowing scene where a Council of priests interrogated a victim, and threatens it. In my case the reality was worse than in the movie. All were against me, even the priest, who should be my stakeholder,” says Milewski, this is felt as humiliation. “The Church wanted me to pose as someone who is lying and only on the money is.”

At the end of the priest is spoken by the Bishop’s court even. The process before a civilian court but takes a different course. Here the priest is found guilty. He must for three years in prison, not allowed to work for ten years with children and young people. “At least my state has not left me in the lurch,” says Milewski. The satisfaction is evident: “Yes, I feel relief.”

Lisinski, during a Demonstration against sexual abuse in the Polish Catholic Church

Victims of abuse in the Catholic Church are unanimous in stressing that the behaviour of the ecclesiastical authorities, the wish to give their Reports, not Believe, be just as traumatizing as the crime itself. Characteristic is also that neither Lisinski still Milewski have met not a single priest, who had said that he believe you. . After 38 years of waiting.

“For the first Time, respected”

“I told him that I was as a child victim of a pedophile priest. His facial expression changed from neutral to sad. In that Moment, I saw tears in his eyes. His face shook, and then he kissed my Hand,” recalls Lisinski. Also tears in his eyes now glow. “For the first Time after 38 years, I felt free, free of guilt and shame feelings. Now the other victims write to me that you also feel this gesture is touching. In five years I struggle with in vain to be in Poland, hierarchs received. I’m going to be ignored and insulted. Here it was the first Time a Priest showed that he believes in me and respect me”.

The spiritual Pope Francis. It was the 20. February 2019. A second date in his life, Marek Lisinski will not forget until the end of his life.